May brings more than flowers it provides us with an opportunity to celebrate the mothers and mother figures in our lives. I have always loved that many a college graduation fall on Mother’s Day weekend. I can’t imagine what a gift that must be for the mamas and grandmothers who groom and raise us!
One of the most difficult things to understand about parenting is you are the vessel that holds this little person, you are even responsible for helping to put up the guardrails that informs their journey and even still, you cannot journey for them and their path is different from yours. My best friend talks about the advice my mom gave her at her baby shower: “this little person is your responsibility, but is not a little YOU!”
When I consider my path, I can see how my parents informed every step and yet, they both exercised a significant amount of restraint to ensure my path could be my very own. Especially, my mom. My mom watched when I didn’t know. She was listening when I didn’t realize. And she prayed when I couldn’t see. She knew that God had me particularly when she could not because I wouldn’t allow her to or when she had the wisdom to let me go.
I often reflect on one instance where she let me go and I didn’t believe I was ready. I probably think about this one instance because it was the ONLY one. I was learning to ride a bike without training wheels. We had gone up and down that seem street over and over again. I had never considered her humanity in that moment. She was 41 with a 5 year old. I wonder now if my mother needed me to “get it” out of her own exhaustion. I wonder if she just needed a break. My mom was the one who woke me up every morning, scheduled every doctor and dentist appointment, made lunch every single school day for me to take, did my hair everyday (Daddy tried once), teaching me to bake, shuttling me to swim lessons, advocating for me with teachers, and so much more I will never know. This superwoman did all of this while working full time at Shoreline Community College.
So, there I was with no more training wheels but with the strongest, most consistent helping hand I’d ever known—Mommy. I warned her not to let go of my bike especially not by the sticker bushes. As much as I played, I knew that was a feeling I never wanted to feel again. I was riding, steady…feeling the brisk air on my face, the exhilaration of going faster, and all the joy in my heart. But Mommy was really quiet.
“Mommy?!” Nothing.
I looked back to see her far behind me and I toppled the bike right into what I dreaded most: the sticker bushes. I was angry and hurt. I felt betrayed and the sting of the sticker bushes made the internal hurt worse. I was not mature enough to understand she had to let go for me to learn how to ride my bike. I also did not understand that her letting go isn’t what made me fall into the sticker bushes. I fell because I looked back when I got to the area I feared most. Looking back made me lose my balance.
My partner challenges me regularly to not just say I am Eddie Rye’s daughter (despite it being a running joke in the family that I’m Eddie Rye III because we are SO much alike) and to pay homage to both of them. He’s right—joke or not. I am so blessed to have the wisdom, intuition, and discernment of Dr. Andrea Rye. Daddy says I have her brains too! I hope so, but in full transparency, she pulled a 4.0 throughout her doctoral program. The ENTIRE thing! And this while working as a college administrator and raising me in high school (chileeeee! A whole teenager!). Thank you for always knowing when to hold me and when to trust that God’s got me. Your ability to let go is what has allowed me to grow and flourish.
I can only hope to be the kind of mother she was and is. I love you, Mommy! You are my girl for life—matching outfits and all! Xoxo
I have been asked to write about my top five courageous, extraordinary women leaders
Who informed and inspired me. My toughest job was creating this list. There are many magnificent African descendants of United States enslaved who could have easily made this list. I celebrate these women of grace, strength wisdom and courage. It is not necessary to introduce these women to you. You know them well. Instead, I will pay tribute to each of them my selecting one of their quotes that describes their essence.
Professional Development Program Alum Spotlight
Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand.
Righteously and cheerfully,
