Reform
Hey Family, *Exhales* The year is almost over! 2022 has been a year filled with life lessons, laughter, new adventures, losses, and love. There’s so much that I could say about the crazy year that was 2022, but I think the word that sticks out the most is: grateful. I’m truly grateful for this year because I learned lessons I didn’t know I needed. There’s so much that I’m grateful for, but I cannot express my gratitude enough for YOU! You continue to support me day and I appreciate you so much. During this time of year, spending time with family is so important to me. It brings me joy that I simply cannot describe. I encourage you to find joy this holiday season. Whether it’s spending time with family and friends or spending time with yourself, I want you to do what brings you joy. Why? Because you deserve it! There are processes we can opt to go through to become a better version of ourselves. Sometimes it feels like a calling or somewhat of a spiritual tug. One day, we look in the proverbial mirror and do not like what is reflected to us. This normally brings about a season of intense change. Historically, I have gone through these seasons by starting with an open-ended question to my loved ones: “where do I need to improve?” At times, the question comes from self-pity and a result of not seeing, hearing, or feeling the answers anywhere else. As a natural fixer, my biggest project is MYSELF. Far too often, I apply unmeetable and graceless standards to myself, my progress, and my journey. Those questions begin with “Why didn’t you just…”, “Why can’t you…”, “Why do you always…”, “Why aren’t you…”. This line of questioning leads me down a road of deficit mentality because it emphasizes what I am not and where I fall short. Yet, the silver lining (if I can call it that) is I always end up with something to fix. This is a textbook example of our gifts also being our curses. Treating myself like a project results in temporary, feel good solutions and not always long term paradigm shifts. These shifts are about conforming to some standard I witnessed or otherwise believe exists—but with rules. When I think about reform, I see strict abiding by rules and following the letter of the law to perfection. It feels rigid and cold, but also safe. I did an Enneagram assessment a few years back and my primary personality is “The Reformer”. Law school, for me, was about using the law to advocate for the interests of people who are often left out because they do not have people who will stand up for them. I use rules to save, to protect, to advocate, and to create change. No wonder it feels safe! Even as a child, I thrived at competition (more academic than sports because I was a SORE loser!) earning my rewards. From my mom’s chore chart on the wall that was eventually covered with gold starts to school spelling bees, I performed best when I was clear about what rules to follow to win. Somewhere along the journey, I think we begin to feel like if we just strictly follow these specific rules or this specific formula, we will eventually find our way home to the original versions of ourselves. We try to put the pieces back together again when we may not even recognize the puzzle’s design anymore because there are so many pieces missing. At this phase, we are DOING change rather than being change… There is something about reforming that turns the page without embracing the darkness, fast forwarding through the pain of the journey just to turn the page. I met Jesus and that relationship changed the way I spoke and dressed. It changed my hobbies and the music I listened to. It changed my friend circle and sadly, it changed the way I engaged in activism to support racial justice (I am not blaming this on Jesus, but rather my embracing of my specific church’s subculture at the time). I saw emphasis placed on submission—to church leadership and wives to husbands. For years, when I reflected on my church experience in my youth and young adult years, I was filled with resentment for the rules that led me to sell all my secular CDs (including Aaliyah’s One in a Million album—that’s how you KNOW I love Jesus) to a local buy and sell store. Some of the rules, I had the courage to challenge, but most I didn’t. One rule was there could be no baby showers for single mothers. The elders thought that showering the baby with gifts encouraged teenage pregnancy. I, however, believed that meant punishing a child who did not ask to be born. Since I could not do baby showers through church ministry, I developed a parachurch ministry called Young Women of Virtue that included Bible Studies, small groups, prayer meetings, activities, and…baby showers. That is the impermanence of reform because we did not do much in shifting the mentality of the elders. It can feel like there’s only one way…very Old Testament where we earn our holiness and righteousness instead of the access granted by God’s unconditional love and grace. This rigidity is why I have a love-hate relationship with grace. Where does that happen?! Shouldn’t I be embracing grace with wide open arms? Yes, of course, but until this day, I wrestle with the concept because I am accustomed to earning my place rather than accepting and receiving grace for my place…that I deserve. WOW. If we don’t get stuck in the reform work, our road to personal freedom doesn’t end here and we may end up with a more permanent, grace-filled option that involves a little unlearning. “I’m finally on the other side, I finally found the urge to smile/ Swimmin’ through the oceans of tears we cried/ You know you got church in the morning/ But…
Stepping into Freedom
“And don’t you ever, ever, give up on YOU” Sheryl Lee Ralph, 2022 Emmy Acceptance Speech Hey Family, Que “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire, and meet me on the dance floor! This month, we are celebrating ourselves in our truest form. Let’s vow to connect with whatever brings us happiness and make space for abundant joy! This month, let’s commit to falling back in love with what it means to be…ourselves! This newsletter will be the first of a five part series examining personal freedom. The first element of personal freedom is form. I believe our formation is according to God’s design, which develops and takes shape according to the Most High’s plan for us. The journey to get here, through the creation pipeline, to taking our very first breath, is no easy feat. There was a careful crafting of each step of your evolution and right now, I am only talking about your physical existence. You are not just one in a million. You are one in a HUNDRED million. Why? Because we scrapped and fought out (well, on average) 99,999,999 million sperm who all swam to meet the egg. Nearly 5,000 sperm make it into the uterus, out of that, nearly 1,000 sperm enter the fallopian tube, and from there, 200 sperm reach the egg and apply pressure to the zona pellucida to penetrate the egg. Just one penetrates and fertilizes the egg. Did you realize the egg actually chooses which sperm fertilizes it? To understand what it takes for an egg to survive, for sperm to make it, for embryos to develop, and how many odds are against us from the very beginning—I am in complete awe of the miracle of life! This is only the first miraculous step it took for us to begin the journey of life in the formation of a zygote. As the zygote continues its journey through the fallopian tube it becomes a morula. Upon reaching the uterus, it evolves into a blastocyst and the blastocyst attaches to the uterine lining for implantation. By the ninth week, a fetus evolves and will continue to grow in the womb of the birthing parent, if that is the destined path. The process from day one to week nine is intense and complicated. We all know that life, if we are blessed to experience it after being carried by our parents for nine months, is filled with many joys and many challenges. We move from a formative experience in the womb to our formative years in life—learning our identities, being called by our names, learning our respective places in our families and communities, what we think, how we communicate, and how we relate to the outside world. Some morph into fitting and others take bold shape, no matter the method we learn to make space or fall into place. For many, this initial formation is restrictive and yet for others, it is where we find ourselves, or at least, elements of ourselves. As we begin to develop, more and more external forces begin to influence our original form. Development, maturation, evolution…we don’t seek to be (stagnant), we seek to become, constantly evolving. After all, if stagnant waters are toxic and poisonous, how much more does that apply to human beings? I remember the first time I heard my dear brother, Resmaa Menakem, say “you are not defective.” In my mind, I retorted, “of course not!” But when I slowed down and examined the many things society tells us about our outward appearances, our cultural identities, and frankly the way rights are given and so easily taken away, it is something that we need to be reminded of—daily. Despite the ways in which systemic oppression conspires against us and how difficult it can be to just take a breath, we are worthy of being reminded that when God looks at us who were knitted together fearfully and wonderfully—it is, we are, GOOD. Form is directly correlated to our freedom to be… In the purest form God is… and in our truest form, so are we. We are brilliant, we are beautiful, we are bold. Speaking of the bold and the beautiful, can we get into New York Fashion Week (NYFW)? When I tell you that my melanated people did not come to play this year…We showed up and showed out! The designers, aesthetics, outfits, colors, and the LEWKS took over New York and broke the internet, confirming once again that we really are, A VIBE. I LOVE NYFW because I get to tap into a space that brings me so much joy! My love for fashion goes back to my childhood. I used to sit under my mom who was a dynamic seamstress in her spare time. From matching outfits with her (and of course, my dolls) to having the opportunity to design my prom dress that she sewed–not to mention all of the incredible ski outfits, fashion was a central part of our mother-daughter bonding time. Even though I grew up with a heavy emphasis on education because of her role as an administrator at a community college, fashion gave me a creative way to express myself, and y’all know I love expressing exactly what’s on my mind! In the midst of a new political storm brewing everyday, NYFW was a little reminder to myself that I can (and I will) wear these stilettos, put on my bright pink outfit, and still ensure you understand that these GOP governors are out of line for kidnapping undocumented people who just came to this country to find a better life–ALL at the same damn time! Regardless of how young or old we think we are, how much we try to convince ourselves we don’t have the time, or how we might self-sabotage our way into thinking we don’t deserve it…WE DO, YOU DO. Every month I challenge you to push beyond the boundaries, and this time won’t be any different. Make sure you make time for things that bring back memories that sound just…
New Beginnings
Hey Family! I missed y’all. Summertime vibes were in full effect this July and I needed every ounce of it! It’s so good to be back. I’m feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to tackle new spaces! August is the best time to welcome new beginnings, and embrace the transitions life brings whether we are ready or not. It is time to remember to surrender to the process because the truth is there’s not very much in our control anyway! Whether you’re a student returning for another year of school, a recent graduate embarking on a new journey or maybe you are stepping into brand new space in your life or career, the time is now to embrace the change. We are claiming new joy, new life and new blessings! Speaking of life, Happy 75th Birthday to my beautiful Aunt KK! My family’s walk through grief and tragedy the last couple of years has made our love for one another greater, stronger, and deeper. Spending time with my family is a constant reminder to hold each other a little tighter, turn off the news cycle, take a break from the hustle and bustle of our daily routines, release the unnecessary pressure we place on ourselves and REST. And rest, we shall, because life has definitely been “lifin’! Between the high gas prices, a new monkeypox scare, and a looming recession, the summer heat wasn’t the only thing that had us in a chokehold. AND Despite all the rest of the summer madness, I pray you had the chance to step away from your day to day routine to relax and replenish. I got to celebrate the weekend of the Fourth on an extended family vacation with Lenard, Jess, the kids, and loved ones in Anguilla. I also found myself needing to connect with my girls and nothing pulls me back to my center like a few days with some of my favorite girls. Sending you love MACHETES—Alicia, Brittany, Cari, Errin, Jemele, Joy, LaTosha, Sunny, and Tiffany! This summer, I also spent some time with the most important person in my life—myself (well, she’s becoming the most important person). I am constantly reminded to appreciate everyday as a blessing, to be intentional about enjoying the little joys life brings, reading by the pool, writing, and creating more memories with my friends and family. As I continue to reflect on what’s behind me, and prepare for the next steps in front of me, I learned something about myself that I wanted to share with you: The best way for us to truly stay in the fight, is to rest, as much and as often as we need to. For the rest of the summer, love on your family, give yourself permission to retreat to your summer sanctuary, enjoy peace, laughter and love and do whatever you need to do to feel like you again. As I write this, I’m preparing for another girls weekend with two of my besties from high school: Felicia and Leonetta! Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully, In honor or Black Business Month, check out a few items I can’t stop talking about! In Case You Missed It… INTERN SPOTLIGHT Every month, we are highlighting the achievements of the interns in our Professional Development Program. From marketing to media, our 2023 Cohorts are the BEST!
Our Legacy, Our Fight, Our Joy.
“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.” — Toni Morrison WE ARE IN A CRISIS. OUR DEMOCRACY IS ON FIRE. THE FIGHT IS NOT OVER. Hey Fam, Happy Juneteenth y’all! We have Juneteenth, Father’s Day and Black Music Month all together?! It’s an absolute shame not to fully celebrate this month. And if there’s one thing black people are going to do it is celebrate to the absolute fullest! But first, can I share a proud Godmom moment with y’all? My oldest godson, Javon graduated from High School and turned the Big 1-8! J, I’m so proud of you, we are all so proud of you, it’s been an honor to witness your growth and be a part of your journey. I love you to the moon and back, we are forever locked in! (I promise I’m not crying as I’m typing this). To the dads, uncles, step dads, grandpas and all the father figures: we salute you this month. We love you, we adore you, we cherish you, and we value you. Happy Father’s Day! Thank you for your presence, your protection, your guidance, your love and your support. Thank you for being you. And to everyone’s favorite Papa, my main man, Papa Rye sometimes referred to as Eddie Rye, Jr, but forever my Daddy: You are the epitome of an outstanding father, an amazing brother, a loving husband, a respectful son, a friend and an activist. A shining light in the darkest rooms, a smile that brings joy to everyone you come in contact with, my voice of reason, my dancing partner, a true guide in every aspect of my journey. Thank you for setting the bar so high, and being exactly who you are, all the time, every time. I love you DADDY! Happy Birthday, Happy Father’s to you! This one is especially for you! Y’all already know what time it is! It’s JUNETEENTH! A celebration of love and liberation, for us, by us, to us and through us, it’s US all up and through the month of June. A commemoration of the emancipation of the last group of enslaved Black people receiving their freedom on June 19, 1865 in Galveston, Texas. Only 157 years later, I think it’s safe to say Texas still has some making up to do, but that’s another conversation for another day. While we love and appreciate the acknowledgements and resolutions, please keep the red, black, (yellow) and green tablecloths to a minimum and spare us the ice cream flavors, instead we’ll take the 40 acres and a mule you promised us, can you say reparations please? Juneteenth isn’t a celebration of Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation, it’s an acknowledgement of our people being told they were free to live the lives they so rightfully deserve. Let’s not forget we built this joint for free. Our blood, sweat and tears have been the backbone for America. This concept surrounding the true meaning of freedom has been a part of my journey for a while now, unpacking the true meaning behind what freedom looks like for us, and exploring the intricacies of our journey on the path to freedom have always been on my heart. In particular, the narrative that has been given to the Black community surrounding the roles we play in our one freedom. Freedom isn’t something we should have to work for, it’s our birthright. For us, true freedom comes when all of us are free. Regardless of our education, our experiences, our beliefs and our place in society, our real freedom comes when the impoverished, the less educated, the broken, the forgotten rural communities and the inner city projects all achieve the freedom that is theirs, the freedom they deserve. That is when we are free, that is the real celebration. We deserve this day and so much more. So as the kids say, “we outside”, and we truly are! As we move towards the last half of the year, we are closing the doors to negative spaces and opening our hearts to a fresh, bright renewed sense of energy. For Juneteenth, we are out in the sun, in the places that once denied us entry, that once tried to separate us from a soft life, we are traveling, living, thriving ( and some of us are brunching), we are walking into spaces like God put us there. Outside in the sun where we clear our minds, where we find solace, it’s where our beautiful melanated shades find a source of nutrients and energy that connect us to the visions and dreams of our ancestors. To be outside means to bask in the sun and relish in the plans that God has laid out just for you. So this Juneteenth, and every month hereafter, grab your friends and family, and “go outside”, get some sun and enjoy all the spaces that await you. AND THAT’s how we honor Juneteenth! Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully, In Case You Missed It…
May: Celebrating the Village We Love, Dedicated to the Lives We Lost.
In Loving Memory Right now, nothing is more dangerous to our communities than the concept of White Replacement Theory, and the toxic lies that are rooted in nothing but FEAR. Domestic Terrorism must end. We honor the victims of the Buffalo Massacre, may we always remember their names and faces. This newsletter is dedicated to the memory of George Floyd who was murdered on Memorial Day of 2020. Hey Fam, Before you start the grill and plan a Memorial Day cookout, you know we have to do one thing: Thank the mamas! *Que Tupac, Dear Mama* We know Mother’s Day has passed, but it is ALWAYS time to celebrate the mother figures in our lives! To the mothers, the grandmothers, the aunts, from god-mom to bonus moms and everyone in between…I salute you. I owe the women in my family, godmothers, mentors, and many of my friends’ mothers so much for their wisdom, encouragement, and love. Their continued support of my growth, work, and journey have undoubtedly fueled my success and my resilience. Too often we take our moms for granted and while we honor and appreciate them today, and everyday we can never truly thank them enough for the sacrifices they make. My mom aka Mama Rye aka Dr. Rye is supernatural. She worked full time until retirement. She made and packed my lunch nearly every day until I was a sophomore in high school (and I suggested she can stop because I was eating off campus a lot more). She chaperoned weekend ski trips, so we had another bonding experience. Even when they were at odds, my mother has never had a negative word to say about Papa Rye. She was working toward her doctorate while I was in high school. She maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout the duration of her program (even when this HEFFA tried to plagiarize her work). My mom’s wisdom is divine. Whenever I call her to seek advice, I know her wise counsel will not be instant. She ALWAYS calls the next day with gems! She has been the most consistent, sacrificing person in my life. A tribute to mom, also means a tribute to the village. The ones nurturing the movement, continuing to affirm our space in society, we love y’all! You know those women that pull you to the side right before you’re about to go off on a colleague? The ones who give you a pep talk in the bathroom while you wipe your tears of frustration? (DAMN! I might be old enough to be one of them now…SMH!) When times are tough and when they are easy, you have been right there in the thick of it standing tall, protecting, loving and helping women build better versions of ourselves. I see y’all. So to the mothers, the mentors and all the women in the village, thank you. We love you more than words can ever say. Now that I got that out of the way, can we take a minute to digest everything that has occurred so far in the month of May… GOTV! It’s time to Get Out The Vote! In addition to being known as the Truth Bringer in chief- I’ve also been known to say exactly what I’m thinking- but we can talk about where I got that from during Father’s Day (hey Papa Rye!)- so let me just keep it real with you. May is confirming what we already know to be sure… the fight is far from over. For many of you, it is primary season and ALL of you have the opportunity to get out and vote. While I am confident that you understand the value of voting, part of being in the village is ensuring that our entire community also understands the importance of showing up to the polls and choosing people that represent our community and our interests. The progress that we have made is a testament to how powerful we are–as a collective we can move mountains. The women in our families fought a mighty battle for us to be able to place Vice President Kamala Harris, and Supreme Court Justice Kentaji Jackson Brown in the history books (well, if these fools stop hating on REAL history), and although they are the “firsts”, we have to make sure they are not the “last”! As we honor our mothers, both here on earth and the ones watching over us, we know that the ultimate sign of their appreciation is to continue their legacy by showing up in all the spaces where our ancestors were once denied entry and telling the stories that others have tried to silence. Our voices, our bodies and the ability to make choices all belong to us… that’s our true power and THAT’s on ya mama, dawg! Congratulations Graduates! And last but certainly not least… To the Graduating Class of 2022…you did it! You toiled through the pandemic, you made it through the storm, you worked hard, stayed prayed up and now look at you! You finished. In the spirit of the late, great Nipsey Hussle, it’s a marathon, not a race, so while you bask in all the glory of completing this part of your journey, your work is not done, you have barely tapped your full potential and I can’t wait to see what’s next. Speaking of what’s next, we want to give special recognition to the Professional Development Program participants, who are graduating this year. Our team at IMPACT Strategies and A. Rye Inc are extremely proud of you and know you will be amazing professionals! Shout out to Saisha White, who now serves as The Legislative Correspondent/Staff Assistant for Congresswoman Frederica Wilson | FL-24. Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully, In Case You Missed It…
Resurrection is Liberation!
Hey Family, It’s the most wonderful time of the yearrrrrrr….let the Easter fashion show BEGIN! Easter outfit–CHECK! Hair DID?! CHECK CHECK! IG photo shoot is starting in….5, 4. 3. 2…because if your family isn’t color coordinating on Easter Sunday, are y’all really doing it right? I don’t know about y’all, but my mother, Dr. Andrea Lena Maria Decuir Rye, is a legendary seamstress. She used to make us MATCHING outfits for Easter. She even made my Pamela doll a matching Easter outfit with us one year. I was laced (literally) all the way down to the white patent leather shoes and the white gloves. Sadly, I am lacking photo evidence of the matching, but not the memories (things the Tik Tok generation will NEVER say). Mommy: you already know this, but the outfits are just one reason you will forever be the real MVP! Back in the day, when Sunday School was not an option and singing in the youth choir was a rite of passage, our Easter experiences served as a kind of presentation to society. Easter speeches prepared us to articulate our voices and proudly share our words and brilliance with an audience, the applause served as an affirmation from a congregation full of faces that looked just like ours, and each Easter picture we took was not just a photo, but a snapshot of our growth throughout the years. For us, Easter is a time for a spiritual rebirth, a resurrection with a literal and figurative change to bring in new life. When I reflect on the power of God’s word and the ultimate sacrifice, I think about how liberating forgiveness can be, and the new life that comes through resurrection. These concepts begin with understanding and knowing that investing in yourself is the true meaning behind resurrection, and for me, one of the true meanings of Easter in the Black Church. The Black Church has a testimony, even in times in crisis, when inequities, racism, and supremacy are looking us in the eye, we have the ability to rely on our faith and the audacity to depend on the hope instilled in us by our ancestors. This Easter I invite you to be diligent in your words, diligent in your forgiveness and diligent in your spiritual, emotional and physical healing. I challenge you to step into a new season with the same precision, tenacity, and diligence we have when we step into the church with our perfectly curated Easter outfits. Forgiveness is Liberation One of my favorite Instagram profiles, Black Liturgies by Cole Arthur Riley, regularly SEES and speaks directly to the Black body. I am so grateful that my good sister shares her gift with the world. This post tells us how imperative forgiveness is–even for SELF! There is so much freedom in forgiveness, for yourself and for others. Forgiveness is a form of liberation that must all experience to fully appreciate life’s journey.. I say this to myself as I share this message with you: Forgive yourself for the moments you had when you didn’t know any better, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and leave it there, so that you may indulge in new experiences that will lead to an even better version of yourself. Redemption is Resurrection As many of us take this time to consider the power of the Resurrection, may we also remember the power of the cross. There are things in our lives that must die (literally and figuratively) in order for a rebirth to truly occur. Black people and people of color in particular have lived under the threat of martyrdom for too long. We have been conditioned to believe that our only power comes with our death–that our power is detached from our joy. Like seriously, JESUS ALREADY DIED ON THE CROSS FOR US, SO WHY ARE YOU KILLING US?! Well, that is another sermon for another day. While I am not saying that we will not regularly experience the pain that is associated with growth, I am saying that joy no longer has to be a distant miracle for us. As this year continues to give us opportunities to tap into, discover, and uncover the truest version of ourselves–may we see this important three part process as the resurrection we deserve. We cannot experience the new without shedding the old. We cannot experience the new while holding onto the past. We cannot experience the new by looking behind us. The resurrection is about trusting the present as a gift. The resurrection is about having faith that your latter days will be greater than your former. The resurrection is OUR new beginning. Welcome to YOUR Spring time! Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully, In Case You Missed It…
WHM: Black Girl Magic Edition
This one is for the ladies, resilient yet soft, powerful yet peaceful, smart yet wise. It’s Women’s History Month, and I can’t think of another way to finish up March then with the nomination of Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court and the confirmation of Shalanda Young as the first Black Woman to lead the Office of Management and Budget. (shouts in happiness) As we seem to be knocking on the door to WWIII, we are also preparing for another historical battle with the US Senate for Ketanji Brown Jackson’s nomination. Be clear: she’s worth it. The possibility (and let’s speak this into existence) of confirming the first Black Woman for the United States Supreme Court gives me chills. And sis will be in several other battles right on the other side of taking that oath! Speaking of Ketanji Brown Jackson, when I reflect on the beautiful moments illustrated throughout the month, I feel so inspired. Inspired by all the women making waves this month, I must honor and show love to the women who inspire me. You know I have a long list of women who have pushed me forward, (there’s Queen Maxine, Empress Oprah, and of course, Harriet whose arrival we eagerly await on the $20), but I, wouldn’t be me, without these three impactful women: My mother When we talk about doing the work, my Mom has done the work. As an educator, activist, advocate and the backbone of my family, I cannot think of a stronger, more deserving person to honor this month than Dr. Andrea Rye aka Mama Rye (I love you, girrrrrl). Her peaceful, calm energy speaks volumes in any room. I am inspired by mother’s intelligence, grace, wisdom, and beautiful spirit. My namesake– Angela Davis is the bomb… And there’s a little of her spirit in me and so many of us. We are still on the journey, together, to demand everything that is owed to us, both as women and as people of color. I’m inspired by her devotion to the ongoing fight for real racial equity. I challenge each of us to tap into her spirit, and continue to change the things we can not accept. Shoutout to Papa Rye for naming me after this Queen! You! Now everyone who’s reading this may not identify as a woman (shoutout to all the family) but when I tell you I’m inspired everyday to keep fighting, keep growing and keep paving the way for you! You all have been cheering me on every step of the way. Thank you for inspiring me everyday. This month belongs to us ladies, and this month make sure you make yourself a priority. Take some time to show yourself and the women in your life some real appreciation. YOU DESERVE IT! I’m always inspired by the long standing support that communities of color gain from Historically Black Colleges and Universities. In February, I took my godsons on a college tour to some of the best HBCUs in the nation. In the midst of them being attached to their phones, and eating ALL the things, we were able to have some real discussions about their academic journey to college and the path after graduation. Thinking I was taking my godsons on a trip to teach them something, I came back feeling like they taught me a few things! (Do y’all know what “keeping it P” means? Now I do…I think! ) The next generation is full of creative, daring, ambitious youth who are ready to make the changes we have been fighting for. I’m inspired by their ability and resilience to march forward and pursue their dreams in life. As part of our own journey, we have to remember to keep inspiring the next generation coming behind us, just like those before us. Even when you think they aren’t listening, they are. On a personal note, February was a tough month since I spoke to you in our last newsletter. After missing for almost three weeks, I lost my beloved Uncle Jerry Rye. Although my grief is ongoing and filled with a range of emotions, I will continue to be inspired by Uncle Jerry’s passionate love for life. I want to personally thank everyone for their thoughts, messages and prayers for my family. I’m beyond grateful for the love and support you have shown me throughout this difficult time. To be Black, elder and presumed poor should not be a fast track to being ignored, and unfortunately, this story is not personal to my Uncle Jerry. There are so many missing people of color whose story has been completely ignored. To honor Uncles Jerry’s memory and to honor him on what would have been his 78th birthday on March 15, please donate to the Black and Missing Foundation, Inc. BAMF is a non-profit organization whose mission is to bring awareness to missing persons of color. I’m inspired by their continuous work to put the spotlight on the inequities around educating minority communities on personal safety. Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully,
Black History is Black Love.
It’s February, Black History Month This month is all about us. The year is too… but I digress. Reflecting on what Black History means has me reflecting on my love for the culture, love for the people, love for family… Black Love. The concept of Black Love has sustained black people throughout some of the most challenging parts of our history and too often we don’t give ourselves enough credit for loving on each other the way we do. The truth is, you can not adequately discuss the significance of Black History without talking about the undeniable presence and existence of Black Love. Too often we focus on the firsts or inventors, and repeat the same facts every year–and we should not discount that, BUT imagine teaching our children and the world that our history preceded slavery (hey first lady…I am talking about Lucy– read about her!) and includes more then the traditional ode to the top pick of the week. Growing up, my mom had an Anheuser Busch poster that illustrated Beautiful Black Kings and Queens. She mounted the poster on posterboard (and of cropped their logo) and put it on my wall. It was my daily reminder of the royalty that runs deep in our veins. Together, my mother and I would name family members and friends who resembled the Black Kings and Queens. These moments were a full celebration of the tones, history and diversity that exist in our culture. This moment set the stage for what I still believe today: Black is Royalty. Black is Powerful. Black can never be erased. Gary Chapman enlightened us with his best selling book “The Five Love Languages, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate”. Shoutout to Gary for the insight (and possible arguments) these universal concepts presented in our relationship dynamics, but I also want to acknowledge a major point: the culture has more than five! Black People’s Love Languages have been in existence for generations! You want something to eat? A love language. Ride with me down the street real quick. A love language. Dancing? A love language. Singing an old school cut? A love language. Dap, Handshakes, Laughter, and our compliments?! Absolutely love languages! The resilience of our people to show love and support to one another surpasses society’s continuous efforts to downplay the power of Black Love. When I say “we’ve been doing this”, we have always illustrated a form of love to and amongst one another that honors the power of Black culture and our ancestral connection. Food is the foundation for keeping us together. When we consider the concept “there’s a seat at the table” Black people mean the dinner table. When asking for forgiveness it’s often “you hungry?” In moments of grief: we send meals to our grieving loved ones. Food for us is a reflection of the comfort and safety we provide one another when we are together. During the Civil Rights Movement the table served as a place for Black people and allies to strategize and formulate their next move while eating our favorite soul food dishes. Black food not only represents our love for food, but it also represents the deep desire we have to feel connected and heard in a space that tries to silence our voices. The way Black people compliment one another during a hype session is the energy we all need (and deserve). Being Black means thriving in a language that is often unspoken but completely understood (from a head nod to an eye roll). The way we deliver a “YAASSSS” followed by “YOU BETTA” solidifies that you are in fact “killing it. ” While our Black affirmations serve as the ultimate confidence boosters, these colloquialisms have become a survival tactic to navigate through a society that treats us as invisible bodies. Black Music can stand on its own. Our music reflects our love for each other, for the culture and for the pride we share as a community. The root of our self expression relies on the creation of Black art in so many forms, including music, art and movement. As soon as the intro to “Before I Let Go” hits the speakers, Black people know exactly what to do. The song is the epitome of Black JOY! And speaking of Black joy…this month’s playlist is a reflection of the rhythms and melodies that have served as a soundtrack for our remarkable journey. Take a listen and enjoy! The connection we have with words comes from our ancestors. For me, reading serves as a gateway to the learning that was once denied them. When we have antagonists of Critical Race Theory (a concept they have taken completely out of context and attached a negative label to) attempting to dismantle the strides we have made, educating each other becomes a top priority. The distinct nature of our movement, the rhythms of our bodies combined with the beats and melodies of our music are unmatched. There is a form of wellness that comes from having the ability to dance and move through your frustrations. The classic choreography in Alvin’s Ailey’s, “Revelations”, takes you on a journey of Black history through Negro spirituals, gospel and rich melodies. Without words, these movements perfectly align with the emotions we all feel. Here’s the thing about love: you deserve it. Here’s the best part, Black Love is like 90s R&B, it’s real and it’s beautiful. My journey has allowed me the opportunity to sit in places that are beyond the dreams of my ancestors. I have learned that there is no greater love than the love one has for self. Black Love exists because our people chose to write, read, move, dance, create and inspire. Incorporate your black joy into your day, and be reminded of the power you have in controlling your own narrative. We deserve love and we will continue to fight for the freedom that belongs to us. The rhythm and soul of our spirituality encompasses the ancestral love that is forever present in…
MLK and these 3 words…
You already know where I’m starting–yes, January 6th. One year after the insurrection, there are entirely too many people questioning whether the perpetrators are insurrectionists (terrorists/criminals). There is no doubt–reasonable or otherwise–we are clear. We all saw the same attack on the Nation’s Capitol Building, elected officials, staff, and visitors. It is time for the Department of Justice to prosecute and hold accountable everyone involved in planning and executing the attack on the Capitol–whether they hold elected office, run businesses, or were just brainwashed on factless and conspiratorial listserves–for their respective role in the insurrections. While this democracy was not built for us, we are certainly better off moving toward real democracy than moving in the opposite direction. It begins with intention and mine is to see the promises of this country fulfilled for the whole of America, not just a privileged few. I would be remiss if I didn’t update you on the real OG, Papa Rye. Last month, I told you he had shoulder replacement surgery and he’s doing very well. We appreciate your prayers and love, and we are grateful for a family like you! When it comes to celebrating and honoring the work of MLK Jr., let’s just say Papa Rye understood the assignment. He dedicated his work to ensuring that Martin Luther King Jr. Way became a real thing. So next time you turn that corner in Seattle, just know that my Daddy did that (always in coalition, but he was a major part of that story! His work is personal to me, and it’s humbling to consider that I am continuing his very important legacy. Speaking of legacy, it is unbelievable to me how many people will quote feel-good MLK quotes out of context (side note: never mind the fact that one of the signature fights of his life was voting rights and we are in the fight for our life to protect the advances once made under his leadership). We keep talking about the filibuster like it’s a human. We need to focus that energy on the PEOPLE who are upholding the Jim Crow era filibuster in a bipartisan manner. Whoever said bipartisanship is always a good thing? Unfortunately, there have always been some Republicans and a handful of Democrats who do not support the expansion of voting rights. Continuing the legacy of my Papa Rye earlier this month, I traveled to Arizona to stand with my sister, LaTosha Brown, in the fight to pass the Voting Rights Act. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful. While I was there I found myself imagining the work of ancestors like Fannie Lou Hamer and Amelia Boynton Robinson because they fought to secure our right to vote. Now imagine us losing it all. Not on our watch. I don’t play when it comes to the rights of my people, so please understand that I will make sure our voices are heard and that we fight until victory is won–and protected (hell with these steps only to backslide!!). Sooooooooo, last year we learned the importance of resting. This year, let us all make a good faith effort to apply what we learned. Rest doesn’t always mean sleep–although I am a proud member of thenap ministry–– sometimes it means finding a space where you can relax, reflect, and rejuvenate your spirit. Supporting the cause is work, so make sure you get your rest. Another way to rest is to curl up with a good book! Two books I am excited about this month are Candice Benbow’s Red Lip Theology and Letters to the Sons of Society by Shaka Senghor which are sold at your nearest Black bookstores like my friend Marc’s, Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee and Books! Music has been a parallel to our experiences and connects us in so many ways. This month’s playlist is a collection of songs representing Black pride, perspective, and good vibes in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. – listen on Spotify! This 20-minute guided meditation by Lalah Delia is the perfect wind down or reset! Check it out on Insight Timer here. Voting rights is a human rights issue and human rights should not be mired in partisanship. We can’t just say this is an urgent matter, we must show its urgency. If we never want to see another January 6th, if we want to halt the backslide into time, we must act. Our elected officials who are paid by TAXPAYERS need to act. The Senate must act. The time is NOW! Sending you all the love, joy, freedom, justice, and power you can stand. Righteously and cheerfully,
Happy Soul-filled Christmas!
Happy Holidays, Fam! It’s the most wonderful time of the year and I am so grateful to share some reflections` with you this holiday season. My favorite Christmas memories normally begin with Thanksgiving meal prep. Papa Rye historically sees that day as an open invitation to blast [Luther’s Christmas album title] loud and on repeat. Historically, the album plays on repeat right through the New Year. When I moved to DC after law school and my first holiday season separated from my parents commenced, I felt grounded and at home when I played Luther. What I have realized is that the music (which has always played a very important role for my family and friends), the treats—from pralines to magic squares, the lights and decorations, and even the tree are all examples of something many of us talk about without real intention—the reason for the season. As many of us celebrate the birth of Christ among us, we are also living out the most important manifestation of His coming—love. Cooking in my family? A love language. Singing and humming holiday songs together? A love language. Admiring the dopest Christmas lights in the community? A love language. Taking care of those who may have a little less? Definitely a love language. How are you spreading love and joy this Christmas season? For me, this Christmas is about honoring my incredibly strong and loving roots especially because my maternal grandmother, Annabelle Decuir, who will be celebrating her 104th Birthday this Christmas. We are SO blessed! I am counting my blessings specifically and by name. As we find ourselves still navigating the COVID-19 pandemic, I realize—like many of you—I did not have to be here. SIDENOTE: please stay safe, wash your hands, and go get vaccinated, y’all. To all of you who may have lost a loved one in this crisis or for any other reason this year, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. As we prepare to move forward in 2022, the year we’ve had is not lost on me. The beginning of this year brought about a change in presidents and a terrorist attack on the Hill instigated by the former president. Our voting rights are experiencing the biggest threat since the original Voting Rights act was signed into law in 1965 and women are being told through broad overreaching legislation and lawsuits that we don’t have agency over our own bodies. Oh, what a time to be alive! My hope remains though. We saw one prophetic word from Dr. King come to fruition with the guilty verdicts in the trial of the killers of our dear brother, Ahmaud Arbery: “Let us realize the moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Yet, we find ourselves waiting, wishing, praying, and hoping for the arc to bend in so many other ways on SO many other issues. I pray we forever hold on to the hope that results in our collective push for better. One of the most hopeful and eternally optimistic people I know, Papa Rye, recently had shoulder replacement surgery–a reminder that my superheroes are aging and most importantly, are human. Watching my fiercely independent father call on us for support is humbling for both of us. It has also grounded me on the significance of interdependence. We are created to belong, to support, to love, and to respect. I thank God that I am able to offer support to the human beings who made my life possible. If that is not a reason for the season, I do not know what is! So, when the frustration of holiday travel, traffic, shopping, and whatever else gets on your LAST NERVE comes up–remember…love. In this newsletter, I share some of my favorite things: my best friend, Leonetta, created a beautiful advent guide to help us focus on what matters most during this holiday season. I had an incredibly uplifting podcast conversation with my sisterfriend, Devi Brown. My team pulled together a list of our favorite holiday cuts. AND you know I love to support Black owned businesses, so I give you a list of some where you can purchase dope gifts this holiday season. Check it out and share your thoughts! Fashion and Apparel Pyer Moss by Kerby Jean-Raymond Hanifa by Anifa Mvuemba Telfar by Telfar Clemens B Fyne by Buki Ade Fear of God by Jerry Lorenzo Stoop and Stank by Brianna Downing Cosmetics and Skincare The Lip Bar by Melissa Butler Liha by Abi Oyepitan Wine & Spirits Brown Estate by Deneen, David & Coral Brown Health & Wellness Maktub Studioby Ashley Brabham AARMY by Angela Manuel-Davis Slay Athletic by Olympian Louise Hazel Ahura Apothecary by Genyii Queen Afua Products by Queen Afua The Sable Collective by Shanti Mayers Plants & Floral Arrangements Queen Plants by Paulette Hogan Old Vine Florals by Itika Grimble